CHARACTERS PAGE

Ramses Pigeon is easily one of the most dangerous people on the planet. Not because he's a self-employed hit man, not because his breath is incredibly bad (which it is, in the mornings,) but because of the kind of people he seems to attract. His two-bedroom Seattle apartment used to be his and his alone before other various individuals discovered his company. Ramses enjoys reading, sushi, and the occasional barroom scuffle with a random person whom he deems "Deserving of misery." Ramses is fairly adept in several martial arts, but finds it much more satisfying to outsmart his opponents. His apathetic and bored demeanor seems to be his only personality trait, unless you make him angry... (A task which actually isn't that hard to do.)

 

Captain Whap is the son of an Iraqi farmer and an American supermodel. He speaks with the worst fake Middle Eastern accent possible, and tries desperately to act like he is a stoner, crackhead, or other sort of drug-influenced idiot. (He is, in fact, just an idiot, and has never inhaled anything other than clean air and car exhaust... And he was throwing up for a week after that incident.) The name "Captain" is actually his given first name, and "Whap" was the name given to him by his father, (who thought it would be a good idea for him to have a "tough" last name. By "tough," we assume he meant "tough to live with.") Whap keeps a potted plant named Timmy whom he claims is a genius. He also enjoys (or simply cannot help) hitting on every attractive girl who crosses his line of vision.

 

When Marle was a kid, she went to a Catholic school. Later on, that school would be remembered as the "One that caught fire that one time." What the newspapers didn't tell you is that the blaze started after a cup of sacrimental wine mysteriously burst into flames and fell to the carpet... They also didn't tell you that it happened just as Marle touched the cup. Marle is the embodiement of evil when angered, and Captain Whap's not-so-secret lust object. She enjoys blackmail, holding grudges, and getting her way by less-than-kosher means.

 

Colette has lived with Ramses and Captain Whap for close to two years now. She has never once paid rent. She is often seen reading, writing, or drawing, and nobody is ever quite sure what her actual job is. However, it must be something that pays well, because Colette always seems to be one of the best-dressed and most attractive individuals one encounters. Maybe it's for this reason that Whap always pays her rent...

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Ramses the Pigeon is hosted by these nice people who call themselves KEENSPACE. They do it for free. Aren't they nice.

Incidentally, Ramses the Pigeon, the plots, the characters, the ideas, and the anything else you can think of are the property of Max Schlienger, and he would ask that you not use them without his permission. All comic-related artwork (except for inking and colorizing) is done by Rachel Bauer. Don't hit on her. Copyright © 2004 and all that.